180 days

That's it. Out of the 365 days I paid for, a handful of free days, & the 2 months my Fertility Friend account was paused, 180 remain. So 6 months. That's what I have left to get KU & stay that way before I run out of my paid time. Not sure why it matters, but when I logged in this morning, that number jumped out at me as a milestone.

I had my monitoring appointment this morning. It was showing 2 corpus luteum, indicating that both follicles ovulated. The NP said that my lining had doubled in thickness (yay!) & that every thing looked right on track. She asked if & when we had sex, I told her Sunday afternoon. She asked if I had an idea of when I ovulated. I said, based on the almost crippling pain, I was pretty confident that those eggies burst free late Sunday. So she said that she felt like we had a really good shot this cycle.

I should be happy about that, right? But my head won't let me. I've been preparing myself for a BFN, odds of that are greater. I've always been an "expect the worst" kinda gal. IF & loss have just made that mindset even worse. Now I'm constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. Good news is almost always followed by bad. That's what we've experienced up to this point, why should things change now.

Now I'm just sitting here waiting for my phone to hopefully not ring. If my progesterone was at least a 15 this morning, then I won't get a call. Since I have a history of it being low, I expect my phone to ring in an hour or 2 telling me that a script for P suppositories has been faxed to CVS. I'm a little nervous about those. I was on Prometrium for the pregnancy, but I took it orally that time.

Oh well, FX for a quiet phone.



Edit: 4pm rolled around & I hadn't heard from them. I had to call, I can't deal with "if you don't hear from us, everything is fine." Well for now, everything IS fine. My progesterone came back at 15! At 7dpo on a medicated cycle they are looking for 15, today is only 5-6dpo. My body decided not to be a jerkface! WOOT!

This is me right now:

Gotta revel in the small victories :)

Completely unrelated, My BFF from home is up in the area right now. Once I get off work we're heading to the train to go see her in NYC for a little bit! Yippee!